


Have You Considered #Boats?

by dbskyler



Category: TLF Travel Alerts (Twitter)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 16:31:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8998417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dbskyler/pseuds/dbskyler
Summary: The Circle Line is not a circle.   This has greater consequences than you might expect.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [originally](https://archiveofourown.org/users/originally/gifts).



> Hope you enjoy this. Happy Yuletide!

The Circle Line is not a circle. This has greater consequences than you might expect. But then, everything has greater consequences than you might expect, and nowhere are these consequences more consequential than in the London Underground.

Well, except for #boats. But then, #boats are always the exception.

* * *  
**@TlfTravelAlerts**

_To avoid confusion we have removed all the clocks. It's simpler this way._

* * *  
It began, as such things do, with an Oyster Card. This particular Oyster Card belonged to an elderly lady taking the Circle Line from King's Cross to Paddington station. Being fastidious, she looked at the map and made her plans. She would get off at Paddington station, which would be the one after Edgeware station.

The Circle Line is not a circle, but most of it is, nevertheless, circle-shaped. The elderly lady in possession of an Oyster Card got on the Circle Line in the wrong direction, traveling clockwise instead of anti-clockwise. She arrived at Edgeware station, and got ready. To her surprise, the next stop was Baker Street. She thought she must have somehow missed the stop for Paddington, so she decided to stay on and ride the train around again.

And again.

And again.

Going in the wrong direction as she was, her intended stop was now the station before Edgeware, but this is the London Underground, where travel information is scarce, so she never discovered her error.

The elderly lady in possession of an Oyster Card began her trip some time ago, when she was not elderly. 

The Oyster Card did not exist prior to 2003, but the elderly lady nevertheless possessed one some time ago, when she was not elderly.

This explains a lot about the true nature of time. It explains even more about the true nature of Transport for London.

* * *  
**@TlfTravelAlerts**

_Sunday morning. Thursday lunchtime. Last Tuesday. Time is arbitrary. Severe delays due to not knowing what day it is._

* * *  
The Circle Line was more circle-shaped prior to 2009, when the extension to Hammersmith was completed.

Most of the not-a-circle Circle Line is in Zone 1, but the Circle Line's extension to Hammersmith is in Zone 2. 

Travelers on the London Underground are told to "Mind the gap between the train and the platform." No one is ever warned about a far more insidious danger:

Mind the gap between the zones.

* * *  
**@TlfTravelAlerts**

_Plus, we're tired of being judged against time. It's all 'late' this, and 'how long until' that. Nightmare. So we've got rid of time._

* * *  
The elderly lady in possession of an Oyster Card went to Hammersmith once, by accident. 

She was fortunate. She was able to travel back to Zone 1, to resume her quest for Paddington station.

She never spoke of her experience, and when asked, she would merely show her Oyster Card and avert her eyes.

If you've lost your time and you're hoping to recover it, you might be able to find it in Zones 1-6.

Not in Zone 7, though.

Have you considered #boats?

**Author's Note:**

> The @TlfTravelAlerts tweets quoted in this fic are real.


End file.
